Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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