Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
