i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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