Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
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Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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