I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
