A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
