He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
