I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
