i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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