What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I want her autograph on my taint
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
