Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
