I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
