Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
