just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
