There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
