he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
