Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
