can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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