And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
