He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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