please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
