he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
