I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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