SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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