it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
