whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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