could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
