Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
