Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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