If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
