You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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