Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
