with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
