Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
