what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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