I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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