Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
