His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
