On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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