3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
