Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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