She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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