just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
