Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
