Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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