i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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