She is in my trunk
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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