just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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