you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
