i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my phone needs a breathalizer
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
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